AGAPE LOVE =

Ole Samson is back on His feet a little and seems to be feeling much better. It's amazing that He not only still loves me after I allow him to be thrown out of my truck but also wants to cuddle all the time now and cries if I leave. I took Him to the office yesterday and kept him with me all day so I took some pictures at the church in the side field and in front of my house. I thought I would share them. No reason really other than they turned out pretty good.

Dogs Don't Roll Very Well

Ok, so I'm beginning to wonder what God is trying to teach me lately or what His purpose is in making my life hell this past week. Let me go ahead and add the whole month in there too while I'm at it. I have just become overtaken by a storm and I'm wondering if I should yell at Jesus for napping on the job or say forget it, join him and go cuddle up with him. Honestly, I'm going the lay down and sleep route and let him take care of this mess. Maybe I'll rise above the disciples and trust his sovereignty here and let him hold me instead of rebuke me when I freak out! I don't mean that in a weird way but in an honest way. I do understand the disciples frustration though. It's hard to sleep through the storm and "cast all of our cares on him." or "be anxious for nothing!" (seriously??? HOW???) However, scripture is clear! It must be done! So here I am laying in the storm but to let you in on what's going on I feel I need to share with you my life and struggles this week. So here it goes...

Let me just talk about this week though. The struggle I,m going through for the other part of the month has been more personal so I'll keep it to myself for now.

So you all know I'm heading to Colorado as a speaker for a church's youth conference. Well, I have been trying to prepare for weeks but it seems like every time I sit down to study, something crucial happens and gets in the way. I'm not nervous about it and do trust God to speak through me but there are still a lot of things that need to get done before I go. I thought today would be the day it would get done but I was wrong. Here's what I have on my plate:

1) The night before my birthday a MASSIVE tree fell in my yard - that was the day I was going build up the brick wall fence in my yard so that my puppies could stay in the back while we were out of town. No luck though and the massive tree remains on the brick wall I need to build up until I can get an 8 hour period at least to cut it up and move it. We hadan answer though. Andy and Bailey said the dogs could stay with them.

2) MONUMENTAL HAIL STORM last night - pretty sure my roof is messed up and leaking. Answer: insurance claim

3) branches ALL OVER my yard from storm - had planned on doing a lot of yard work after I studied this week and even paint the brick on my house if I had time. The yard looks like a disaster zone though and nearly IMPOSSIBLE to ever get cleaned up before I leave.

4) no power last night or today. Couldn't sleep to save my life due to the fact that I was laying in my own sweat!! The food we bought from the grocery store and in the refrigerator - GONE! No power anywhere in town with wi-fi so no getting stuff done on the computer (I'm doing this from my phone which I'll explain later)

5) My dogs were burning up this morning so we thought since most stuff in town is closed and we don't have to go in the office we'll take the puppies to the lake. We always take my truck when we go somewhere far because Bonnie's car will die VERY soon but in order to take the truck the pups would have to sit in the back (the bed of the truck) which they LOVE to do because the wind blows in their face the whole time. AWESOME!

Off to the lake right? Accept that this time Samson decides he needs to get out of the truck and jumps out going about 35 mph!!! All I saw was him ROLLING down the road!!! **** INSERT HUGE FROWNY FACE with a tear and a guy who feels like the worst owner on the planet earth!!!**** He was okay though and walked away with a sprained leg. Still... I cried! For real! (mainly because I'm starting to understand the depths of my depravity and just how far it reaches. It even causes stupidity and neglect!). Now I need to find someone who is willing to keep and take good care of a very hurt little puppy who is tender enough as it is without a hurt leg and bruised body while I'm gone. Preferably a quite house because he isn't supposed to walk around much.

6) My phone was destroyed! When I saw Samson fall I freaked and slammed on the breaks and jumped out of the car without any hesitation or mindfulness of anything around me (including the cars coming in front of me that had to swerve off the road to avoid hitting me). When I jumped out, my phone which was in my lap, crashed onto the ground and was pulverized by the oncoming traffic. I just spent $250 replacing it!

I'm hoping right now as I hear the power turn back on in my house (thank you LORD!) That this isn't the eye of the storm? I'll let you know though in a few days.

"Consider it all joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith develops perseverence and perseverence must run its coarse that you will be complete and lacking nothing."

Christians and Their Denial of Reality

In case you haven't gone to Mr. Pigeon's Sunday school class it's imperative that you know... YOU ARE MISSING OUT!! Honestly, it's been a blast and last Sunday's lesson was fantastic. Actually, the lesson was GREAT but the discussions were fantastic. Johnny Ross was teaching and did have a wonderful lesson but some incredible wisdom was demonstrated by one of my favorite men in the church, Mr. Lomas and I thought you needed to hear it.

Johnny's lesson was on Nehemiah 4 I believe.... anywhoo, at one point the lesson was getting a little too victorious. I have nothing against victory and certainly believe our God is and always will be victorious, but the language was beginning to sound unrealistic. As if men with Jesus will never stumble or fall or collapse into a pit of depression or lose battles against sin. I certainly don't think this was Johnny's intention as he is an incredibly wise man who understands the state of man and our need for a savior.

At one point however, he was talking about how the Jews were rebuilding the wall and how in the face of opposition they got down on their knees and prayed and began building the wall with faith in God to be not only their strength but to give them the ability to make the walls fortitude immovable. He stopped for a moment and asked a question that went something like this, "When we go to God, He will give us the ability to overcome all odds right?" At this point, before the class yelled HELL YEAH! the quite and very wise Mr. Lomas said something very simple but revealing in terms of his own wisdom. He said, "Supposed to."

Now Mr. Lomas is probably in his 80's or so. He has live a very long and I'm sure at times, rough life. I have prayed with this man before and he is by definition a PRAYER WARRIOR! How could he display such lack of confidence?! The answer is simple. He knows that though God is gracious and good to His people and even though it is true that God is victorious, he also knows that life is full of sorrow and pain and victory sometimes doesn't come in our lifetime.

It's funny to me to think how often we live this life thinking we are owed something. As if our salvation isn't victory enough. We live in a fallen world and things don't always go the way we want it to. Often, we face depression or hardship that seems to have NO END! Hence the psalmist when he asks God "How long will you forsake me!" His despair is always in the moment, but his hope rests in something that transcends the hardship of the moment when he says, "But I trust in Your unfailing love!"

Don't forget life sucks sometimes and that there are moments when sin and sorrow overcome you. There are times and maybe even a lifetime of battles that never seem to end but your hope my sweet sheep is in Jesus Christ and His unfailing love!

I love you!